


The nights were mainly made for saying (Things that you can't say tomorrow day)

by definitelynotafan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drunken Confessions, Happy Ending, Harry and Louis are both sad, M/M, Phone Sex, and a hint of, there is also a bit of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 05:39:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12162618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelynotafan/pseuds/definitelynotafan
Summary: Harry 10:03pm:You weren't at the show tonight.Louis 12:16am:Never said I would.Harry 12:17am:Thought you might com. ..  Wanted you to be therr !(or, Harry has enough of not saying what he really means and nights are there to make confessions)





	The nights were mainly made for saying (Things that you can't say tomorrow day)

**Author's Note:**

> This just poured out of me all of a sudden. I should be working on my fic for the reverse bigbang but I've been ill all week long and wasn't in the mood for writing something happy and fluffy.
> 
> It's just a bit of angst with a bit of smut and a hint of a happy ending. Sort of. 
> 
> Have fun!

**Harry 10:03pm** _: You weren’t at the show tonight._

The text has been sitting in Louis’ phone for two hours, Harry must have sent it right after getting off stage. Louis isn’t sure whether it is an accusation or a mere statement. No, he hadn’t been at the show, hadn’t quite felt like he could do it. It’s been so long since he last had seen Harry in person, back at the X Factor show. Since then, they had exchanged the occasional emails in the group chain, a text here and there, nothing of substance really. Harry had invited both him and Niall to his show in LA, he knew they both would be here. Louis spends most of his days in LA these days of course. But Harry must know what he is asking of Louis when he asks him to come to the show. Louis barely made it through the album once, switches station when Two Ghosts comes on the radio. How was he meant to stand in a crowd and watch Harry perform those songs without showing everything he truly feels on his face for everyone to see? Maybe writing them helped Harry move on but for Louis this isn’t really over yet, he still feels the pain as fresh as the day they broke up.

Louis opens the iMessage app again and looks through their recent conversations. The last text before today had been 2 months ago when Louis had texted him to congratulate him on Dunkirk. Harry had thanked him and asked him how things were but Louis had not replied. He hadn’t known what to tell Harry. Things were okay. They always were just okay. But Harry didn’t need to know that.

Now Louis is staring at the message again. He wonders why Harry even texted him? Had he really expected Louis to show up? He knows he was vague in the emails, pretending to be not sure what he was doing that night, whether he would have Freddie. Niall and Liam had been decent enough not to mention that he just had Freddie the week before. Niall also hadn’t asked whether Louis would go with him to the show, he had probably known that he wouldn’t.

With a long sigh Louis gets up from the couch to get a beer from the fridge. Maybe that would give him an idea of what to reply.  He’s halfway done with it by the time he gets back to the living room and sinks into the cushions. He kind of wishes Eleanor was here this weekend. A fake girlfriend was better than being alone with this. It’s not like he couldn’t talk to the boys about it but when he and Harry ended their relationship they both promised to never put the boys in a position where they might have to choose a side and so both of them had refrained from talking to them about it too much. It had been weird in the beginning, until then the whole “no secrets” thing was something they all lived by.

In the end he finishes his beer and starts to type.

 **Louis 12:16am _:_** _Never said I would ._

Because he never did. Harry had lost every right to expect him in his life when he walked out on him at the first sight of trouble.

 **Harry 12:17pm:** _Thought you might com. ..  Wanted you to be therr !_

Someone seems to be celebrating something. Louis gets himself another beer, to be on a similar level with Harry he tells himself. 

 **Louis 12:17am** _You’re drinking ? Thought you didn’t drink while on tour . . ._

 **Harry 12:18pm:** _You wathced the album film!!!!_

 **Louis 12:18am** _Might have . . . but I also was on tour with you ,  in case you forgot ._

Louis has no idea what he is doing really, this is more talking that he and Harry had been doing all year.

 **Harry 12:20pm:** _I rembr.. wouln’T forget it ever. Cant forget it really…_

Louis thinks about his next reply when another message comes in.

 **Harry 12:20pm:** _Why didnt you come tonigt??_

 **Louis 12:21am** _Because I can’t forget either !_

His heart is hammering in his chest and his hands have started to get clammy. He cursed inwardly over how Harry still had so much power over him. He was doing just fine most of the time. He was going out with friends, working on his album and spending time with his son. He called home every week and got up early to go to meetings. Everything was going so well for him, and yet here he was sitting in his too quiet living room, gripping the bottle of beer in his hand with so much force that he might shatter it. Nothing makes Louis feel like this. He had been calm and collected when Briana had told him about the pregnancy. He had hugged Danielle when she had told him that she thought they weren’t working anymore, had smiled and wished her the best. Even when Zayn had left he had been the one to hold a crying Niall all night instead of letting his own feelings get the better of him. But a single text from Harry could break down all the walls he had built up in his lifetime. It feels like his pulse rises even higher when he sees the three dots coming and going for the next few minutes.

 **Harry 12:28am** _I really miss you, Lou… all the time._

Harry had really tried to spell every word correctly and Louis can just picture it in his head. Harry, standing on the side lines of a post-show celebration at his house, his phone held close to his face as he concentrates really hard to hit all the right letters, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips. Drunk Harry was truly a sight to behold. He was all loose hair, loose limbs, loose lips. Talking about love in ways only a drunk optimist can. Louis had told him he was in love with love itself; with the idea of loving a single person above everything and everyone else, doing everything possible to make that person happy. But there is a difference between being in love with a person and being in love with the idea of love. In the end, that was what had broken their relationship. Harry loved giving love too much to just be giving it to the same person for the rest of his life.

 **Louis 12:29am** _You’re drunk Harry, go to sleep._

Louis misses him too. But tomorrow, when Harry would be sober again, he could write the whole conversation off to being a bit tipsy and Louis would not have given up anything about himself.

 **Harry 12:31am** _Not that drunk.. nd thers’ peopl over… to much noise to sleep. Can I call you?_

Louis chokes on a sip of beer. Harry doesn’t wait for Louis’ answer as the phone is vibrating in his hand. He continues staring at it for a moment before telling himself that he has nothing left to lose really.

“Hello.”

“Hiiiiiiii.” Harry draws out, almost like a sigh. “You picked up.”

“I did.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

“Wasn’t sure I was gonna.”

“Why did you?”

“You’re drunk and alone it seems.”

There is a ruffling sound on the other end of the line, bed covers or clothes, and for a moment Harry’s voice is coming from farther away.

“How’d you know I’m alone? I could have been with friends.”

“A friend takes your phone away when you start texting an ex.”

Louis’ joke is met with silence. Too soon, he guesses.

“Is that what we are? Exes?”

Louis thinks it over, looking for a word to describe what they are. They aren’t lovers anymore, aren’t friends. And yet Harry is still listed as his emergency contact because he knows that no matter what happens, he can trust Harry with everything. He didn’t think about changing it for a second. He doesn’t know if Harry did. He doesn’t want to find out.

“What am I to you, Harry?”

“Sometimes… everything.”

Louis doesn’t say anything, doesn’t trust his voice, seeing as he is barely breathing right now.

“Louis… you still here?”

“Yes.”

“Then say something. Please.”

“Harry…” Breathe. “You can’t just say something like this.”

“Why not? I’m tired of not saying things. It’s been… shit it’s been three years and we never say anything. But you can’t tell me you don’t feel it too. I could always see it on your face. You can avoid me all you want but it only proves me right again.”

“Harry, you left.”

“But… I came back. I want to make things right again. I need you. I need you all the time.”

Harry’s rough breathing matches Louis’ right now, it’s the only sound on the line for a minute. Without it Louis might have thought Harry had hung up.

“I’m thinking about you all the time.” Harry says, his voice almost a whisper.

“Harry..”

“All the time.” His voice drops even lower. “All the fucking time. Can’t even have a wank without thinking about you anymore.”

“Harry!” Louis warns again.

“It’s true. You always knew how to make me feel so good.” A rustling sound again. Harry’s breath hitches. “So bloody good.”

“Christ!”

“Your hands… your mouth. God, your mouth drove me crazy. Do you remember, Louis? You used to make me wait for it. Felt like hours. Just your mouth on me, going so slowly, making me beg for it.”

Louis feels himself getting hard in his joggers. Harry’s voice is going to be the death of him.

“Harry, what are you doing?” he sighs, pressing the palm of his hand to his crotch, hoping to ease some of the feeling.

“Stroking myself.”

Louis had meant to ask what Harry was hoping to achieve with what he is saying. He hadn’t expected the blunt answer. He pauses for a moment.

“Are you going fast?”

“No. You never wanted me to, liked seeing me desperate.” Harry’s voice sounds strained, in between, Louis can hear soft, breathy moans.

Despite his better judgement, Louis slips his hand down his joggers. He had just enough beer to convince himself that this is a good idea. Or at least, not a bad one.

“Go on, Harry. Tell me more.” He hisses when his hand makes contact with his cock.

“I think you got off on having me beg, beg you to make me come.”

Louis’ moans fill his big living room. He clutches the phone between his head and shoulder as he shoves his sweats and pants down to get better access.

“Yes, you did beg so beautifully. Always did.”

“Please Louis. I need you. Please.” Harry moans down the phone and Louis isn’t even sure what Harry is asking for but he knows he is ready to give him everything.

“What do you need?” He asks, his movements speeding up.

“You. I need you. I always need you.” His voice sounds beautifully wrecked and Louis can feel his orgasm building already. This isn’t going to take long anymore.

“Harry you’re so good for me, making me come.” Louis’s breaths are coming out sharper now. “Are you close?”

“Yes!” Harry whines.

“So good for me.” Louis praises again. “Can you speed up for me? Make yourself come? Let me hear you?”

“Yes. Please!”

Louis can hear Harry’s movements now, wonders whether Harry got lube from somewhere or if he has been leaking so much precome.  All for him.

“Louis!” Harry moans out again.

“I’m here, babe. Let me hear you, please.”

There is a cut-off whine coming from Harry followed by sharp breaths and Louis knows Harry has come all over himself. That thought is what sends him over the edge, Harry’s name on his lips as he does.

The line is filled with their rough breathing again as they both calm down from their orgasms. Louis’ thoughts are nothing but static and _Harry_. He can’t seem to hold onto a single coherent thought, let alone form a sentence. It’s Harry that speaks again.

“If I get a cab, will you let me in? We need to talk.”

Louis sighs … again. This evening has him emotionally exhausted.

“Harry… nothing has changed really.”

“It has. We both changed.”

“It won’t be easy.”

“We’ll work on it.”

“You’re going on tour.”

“I’ll come back.”

“I might go on tour.”

“So will you.”

“I have a son.”

“You know I love children.”

“Do you have an answer for everything?”

Harry is silent for a moment.

“Let’s just talk in person. We won’t fix this on the phone in one night. Please, let me explain.” He pauses for a bit. “It doesn’t have to be tonight if you don’t want to. You could come over tomorrow. I can cook. We can go to Niall’s show together afterwards.”

With every sentence Louis feels his resolve shrinking.

“Okay.” He says at last.

“Okay?”

“You can come over if you want. Right now. I …” Louis takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay, I’m calling a cab. I’ll be over in … I don’t know. As fast as I can.”

“I’m waiting for you.”

When Louis hangs up he almost has a smile on his lips. He knows this doesn’t fix anything. But he wants to believe there is a chance for them in the future. He wants to believe that they can make it if they just work for it enough.

Louis finishes cleaning up himself when his phone vibrates with a text.

 **Harry 1:08am** _I’m coming over now. Thank you! Thank you for giving me a chance! x_

True to his word Louis waits for Harry at the door, a smile on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you like it leave a comment/kudos.
> 
> Also come say hi on  tumblr 


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